Wednesday, November 2, 2011 look teh kitteh!

The worst part, I think, about beginning to write is trying to get the ideas that are in your head out and onto the page.
I'll sit and have these conversations and discussions flowing in my thoughts and never have the fortitude or even guts to put them down. I'll just let them run their course and fade away.
Am I afraid to write them down or is it just shear laziness? Hell, I joined a website that promoted writing by having its members write a 50k word novel every November. I want to get it a try but since signing up I've had not a single idea for it. I was going to rewrite a short novel that I had made for a class in high school where we had to actually made a physical book, bindings and all. I suspect that would have been cheating, so I scratched that idea.
To be honest my writing has taken a bit of a back seat to my desire to make a game in the coming months. That too is starting to become a difficult task as I am still unsure of what game I want to create. Sidescroller, shoot-em-up, RPG, or action game. Even the method is in question. UDK, Gamemaker, Construct 2, or Stencyl. Never mind that I am not an artist or a musician either. And programming? Buh...
When I first got a hair up my ass about wanting to create instead of just watching everyone else, I wanted to make a webcomic of some sort, but again ideas and the fact I can't draw well kept holding me back. It is my apparent lack of ambition keeps me from drawing everyday, practicing the piano tutorials on Garageband everyday, writing about anything everyday.
I just looked back at what I just wrote and have to laugh at myself. Three hundred plus words in already and they keep flowing onto the virtual keyboard.
Until a thought came and shut the valve off...
Anyway, I've been trying to free myself of distractions for a while now. Thinking that will help in my quest for a better life. Boxing up my games for a year. Taking only my absolute favorites with me when I moved as well as only a handful of movies. I brought a large chunk of my book, but barely touched them. I've done more book reading on my iPad than an in a physical book. I look at my computer and wonder if bringing it was a wise choice. Of course without it I couldn't be attempting game creation. Then again, I might not be in the situation that I am now currently residing in either.
I can only keep trying everyday, keep forcing myself everyday. If not, failure once again awaits me at the door. And quite frankly, I am getting sick and tired of his visits.

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