Monday, October 3, 2011

Sour grapes will still make the pill bitter.


Nothing like bitter disappointment and crushing defeat to start your day.
No sir, nothing like it. 
So, is there a light at the end of the tunnel? Was it ever there to begin with, or was it just a after image, of days long ago, slowly fading away?
Or maybe I just looked at the sun for too long...

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Making makes the bills go away.

I want to create things. I want to create things that people can enjoy. Things that people can read, hear, or watch. Things that can make them smile. Things that make them happy.
Isn't that what we all really want to do?
To scare and make them giggle when they realize they are safe. To sadden so they think more about theirs lives and the ones around them. Or simply just make them laugh at the silliness before them.
To escape. That's why we do the things we enjoy. To escape from the dull, the difficult, the repetitive.
We create to escape as well. Perhaps even more so. Since we can't live in our dreams and visions, we create them the best we can with what we can.
But when something is in your minds eye, and you lack the knowledge, the ability, the skill to let it run free for others to enjoy...
It's like letting fruit over ripen on the tree because you cannot afford a taller ladder in which to collect it before it falls to the ground, rotted and sour.
Many plans and schemes are attempted to make the inspirations in our heads form into something tangible or sensory. Often, however, they are either left abandoned in boredom for another shiny vision or are aborted mid development because they do not take to the form that was originally conceived.
Alas the pit filled with the corpses of discarded ideas and thoughts is a sacrifice to the gods of creation that must be made.
Still, I try to create. Buckling down with a lesson or guide that promises to help show the way to the skills that I require to manifest my visions. Bits of knowledge are picked up here and there, slowly increasing the size of my bag of tricks. But it’s never enough to hone a sharp enough edge to cut through the clay and reveal the sculpture that was trapped inside all along.
Someday it be sharp enough. Sharp enough to cut through my own insecurities and doubt. Sharp enough to sever the parts of myself that hold me back from doing the most simplest of things...
Make people happy.

Friday, September 30, 2011

Idol hands are the Devil's competition.

A vista of emptiness surrounds my mind. In all directions, the vast of blanket nothingness spreads further and further. Even as my mind is wiped clean, my body is losing the ability, the will to create, to organize, to even move. I can only watch and listen, hoping all that I consume can fill this void that is slowly laying waste to my mind, body, and soul.
So many thoughts and inspirations swam within the oceans of my mind. So many visions and concepts towered and grew over the landscape of my consciousness. Encroached by the void, the oceans are drying up revealing flat, cracked, sunbaked planes. Views that before would awe and inspire are now lifeless crags of crumbling decay that molder and fill the air with putrid choking dust.

I hate writers block...

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Pep at 2 p.m.

Brewing some coffee, waiting for a call that may never come, and wondering if I should get some creamer.

Decisions, decisions.

Cheap, crappy creamer, or the pricey, tasty kind.

Will it break the bank? Will spending a few dollars cause finances to collapse? Will it make the java silky and creamy or leave it clotted and gritty?

At least I still have some cinnamon left.

Hunting the elusive creature.

So, I've be hunting around for a different job for the last few weeks, and so far to no avail. Only the most common and skill-less ones are out and about. I have a snare waiting and ready for one that seems to be within view but, I think it sees me and and is wary about moving closer to the bait I've laid out for it.

The more common ones give even less that what I receive now and would just be a detriment to the cause. That or they are of such a degrading breed that only the young or the most in need would take on.

While my hunts have been fruitless, I have been attempting to breed my own. My skills in sector are limited, and any useful results wouldn't come about until months or (gulp) years of private study and training.

One can only hope for the best at this juncture, and press on diligently.

Tally ho and such forth.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

I'll post when I have something worth posting...